got a wedding invitation yesterday so it,ll give me something to aim for ..

trying out the video part of camera..id like to see what movement looks like on the blog..wind moving through leaves..bring it to life a bit..not working by the looks of it..

spent day in the garden.. really lovely weather...sun splitting the trees..
tara n meg love the freedom and fresh air.. usually they are cooped up inside like me...esp.over the winter months, last winter awful, dark at 4pm..

i felt very low as the weather was dark dismal and dreary every day..it does nothing for the spirits.. i like the snow.. but not dull damp days..
.. house lights were on at lunch time some days..

but these sunny days lift the spirits.....just makes the day a bit easier..and brighter..

closet cloudspotter... image to me,.. grown up holding a baby.. open left hand..thumb outstretched, fingers going round the babies back..
sunbeams shining down on babies head..

there are ways round everything ...even the most difficult of life challenges.. or circumstances.. ive proved it by being brave enough to venture out... where theres a will ...theres a way..
no idea what kind of bush this is.. a lady was snipping at it yesterday so it must be important...

think this could be a flowering cherry.. i,m not up on trees.. i know they have trunks and leaves ... thats it really..
i know the tall tree has been stood standing there for over a hundred years maybe longer..on summer evenings we,d be taken outside to play outdoor chapel games....ala bala booshka who,s got the ball..

last nights mobile pic, cooler out after dusk....

up early and out with meg while not many about..cooler today..
sea fret over durham can,t see the cathedral at all or early mist, anyway, whatever.. i dont think sea fret comes in this far but thats what it looked like from here..

lovely day.. took meg out most of the morning..... really hot so i took bottled water..trying to tip water from a bottle into a dogs mouth... difficult to say the least....sat on the grass for the longest time..under a tree in shade.. my legs are,nt used to any more than that.. feel off balance too....
thats because ive only walked around the house.
its totally different walking outside.... . actually ive walked from upstairs.. down into living room into kitchen, back upstairs.. round trip..

just come in its dark and dismal out. weathers changed its cold too. could have done with mitts on ..... catch corrie.. end of emmerdale.. i remember when it was emmerdale farm..annies kitchen ..

have,nt been in long, councils been out cutting the grass the smell is heaven to me..... even with hayfever..front door is open, breeze wafting in.... have lots of jobs to do i have,nt done any, just plonked myself down and made cards...

out last night..quite a lot of people out with dogs so hid half the time..
meg isnt used to being out so people scare her.. they scare me a bit so i keep well back....
talking and walking at the same time take more energy than i have to spare at the moment....people might not understand....

meg is still lying down as soon as i stop, she doesnt like being out with me...
i think dogs pick up on emotions..
one man with his big dog detoured so that was good....
i,m hoping i improve on it..energy..


woke after 2am.....looked out saw something white lying across the road in a heap had to get ready and go out to investigate i thought it might be my friends cat, she,s moved house,
i thought if it,s returned it,ll be tragic if it,s been knocked down...
thank goodness it was,nt....turned out to be just a carrier bag empty cans inside.. i left it..not very good neighbourly but it could have been any ones old tat..lost my slipper..umpteen times..too bone idle to put shoes on..

came in had a lettuce sandwich...turned back in..

lovely day..suns out..still a bit chilly...we,ve been out early..took some pics on new mobile.
its got predictive text ..i was home before i,d got past 1 line...
i,ll never get used to it......
nearly stayed in bed all day my backs hurting it,s the walking not used to it..

meg living moving breathing.. technology just gets better even if life just gets more difficult....

made cards in the garden.. camera is working well now..technology is amazing.
pop out later and i wish i had a magic wand.. for anyone who thinks its wonderful and easy, all that stuff... try it...
couldnt be further than the truth..i don,t ever expect life to be easy .. it isnt.. if it ever was id think some thing was up..

short walk....grass soaking wet.. nice day.......tired today..

going into the garden..print some flower fairy and Victorian papers off later.. that's about it really..it,s quite chilly out.. tray of magnolia plants have withered overnight..maybe slugs.. not sure....rockery needs weeding..brightening up..gnomes and rabbits look weather beaten.. .

woke to a nice sunny day... thinking i,m going no where today.
then when i got downstairs thought.. i,ll have to..
i,m allergic to birch, i noticed yesterday its having an effect..
i just want to be out amonsgt nature ..can,t be too much to ask.... its all ive ever wanted... feel at one..

fruit trees...

I,m becoming more accustomed to my camera, tomorrow i might be able to take video too. forgot, theres a poor hedgehog squashed flat on the road.
and people seem to drive like maniacs, no seat belts, munching, drinking,
weaving about the road...
lifes not fair but we have to get on with it.. hedgehogs included..

just come back in, nice out, quite warm, birds whistling, gentle breeze, summers on it,s way, its in the air..i,m tired..it,ll stop my chatter..

tues..woke late to a lovely day..thought i,d like to be out in it..went out with meg....it,s not easy... far from it..

but i,d like to be further afield by summer..

felt like sitting down making a daisy chain , why not..? grass was damp..

mon. went out just after 8pm. came back in went out again twice.
legs need exercise.

first time out in 7 years, sunday night 4th may, so thought i,d put the blog in some kind of order everythings been all over the place..cards dotted about, witterings on too.

the reason i opened the blog was to jot down progress renewal of health and life.
will i do it ? heaven knows i,m in the hands of the gods....if not it won,t be for want of trying.
ive always felt since a child that i was hooked up to the universe..somehow or other....
the only thing i trust in..

last night very hot humid during the night..
got in well after dark, dreaming i was down croxdale by the river in a wooded area....

looking through the trees as if i was searching yet keeping out of sight,
i could see a small cottage, 2 small windows either side of the door,

thing that struck me the roof, the tiles were,nt the usual slate grey but brick red....vivid technicolor, i don,t usually dream in color.

thinking hansel and gretel will be coming along in a minute and that i should have a left a trail to find my way back out too.

then dreaming i found a brand new toothbrush outside on the path, a neighbours son came by and said "it,s mine, thanks gillian".

I could have given up years ago but that would have achieved nothing.

a life wasted,
so i keep going.